Should You Be ‘Best Buds’ with your Employees?

The relationship between a manager and their subordinate is one that often comes under the media spotlight. Comedy franchises such as the office have often used this delicate subject to produce great laughs in the process. No manager loves to be loathed, and in a corporate culture where upwards feedback really matters, it has never been more important for employees to have positive view of their manager.

Where is the line drawn then, between developing a positive working relationship between yourself and an employee, and becoming their friend? Aren’t the two the same?

The Blurring of Lines

With trips to the bar after work on a Friday night, internal team building sessions, and a heavy focus on teamwork in organisations, has meant that rank and title has means very little in determining who can be ‘mates’ with who, in even the stricter corporate climates. Add to this the natural desire for career-orientated professionals to try build a strong network within senior management, and one must ask oneself – does a manager stand a chance in trying to avoid becoming ‘buds’ with employees? Does a manager in today’s world even want to?

The Forgivable Temptation

As a manager working closely with a group of workers on a day in, day out basis – would you prefer to work with cold colleagues or warm and friendly buds? Lets face it, surrounding oneself with friends is a natural temptation. Nobody wants to work in isolation from those around them. When a team bonds closely and their manager stays distant, the manager takes a hit to their day-time social life, much like the child left in the corner of a classroom. Many outgoing, and confident managers simply cannot adjust to not being in the centre of the ‘social circle’ that sits in front of them. This is because feeling ‘left out’ at work has the same effect to the individual as in any other situation.

The Crisis’s of Companions

So what’s actually wrong with being best mates with some of your subordinates? Well, a few things:

1. What is ‘playful and teasing’ to you, may be pushy and awkward to them. Much like ‘The Office’, your jokes may not be as funny as you think they are. Everyone feels they need to ‘suck up’ to their boss, even slightly. And as such, you might be on the bright side of a strangely shaped friendship. What the friendship looks like to you, may not be what the other party sees it as.

2. Tensions will arise. Imagine you are in the position of seniority, and have the almighty power to select an employee for promotion. If you had remained professional and familiar, but not friendly, to your employees, then whichever decision you make would be respected. If however, one of the employees was your best man, then despite him being the best employee, other staff would remain suspicious of your decision. Did you make it on the grounds of competency, or for other reasons? It wouldn’t just be the losing candidate who would raise the questions either – as allegations of favouritism, or even corruption, spread wide and far in any working environment. You have probably heard similar rumours yourself about other managers. Simply put, being close friends with one of your subordinates means that every decision you make will come under a thick wedge of scrutiny.

3. ‘It’s nothing personal’. Could you fire an incompetent, inconsiderate, and aggressive employee? I’m sure you could. Could you fire your ‘boisterous’ and ‘spontaneous’ mate? You’d come up against a wall of reasons holding you back. Having to fire, discipline or even give constructive feedback to a friend can a) impair the quality of your work, or b) destroy an existing friendship. It’s for this reason that you should NEVER hire a close friend. I’ve heard so many horror stories of people referring best mates to their organisation, only to slowly experience their friendship wear thin under the stresses of work. Tragic.

Whats Your View?

It would seem in the end that the decision of how friendly to become with your co-workers comes from the answer to the following 2 questions:

Would you be happy at work being ‘outside’ the popular social circle underneath you?

Can you be as frank and honest with a friend as you could with a distant employee?

Why don’t you leave your own answers to these questions by answering in a comment below, and give your opinion on how friendly a manager should be with their followers.